Ok so I'm doing really badly at remembering to write in here, maybe trying to do it during the day will help!
Today I just want to write down a couple of poems I like. The first I can't remember who wrote it or anything, and despite how lazy it is, I'm not going to Google it! (Maybe because I am very warm and feeling a bit languid at the moment) but it goes like this:
1-1 was 1 racehorse. 2-2 was 1-2. 1-1-1-2 races, and 2-2-1-1-2
The other is a bit from Icarus Allsorts
A little bit of heaven fell, from out the sky one day. It landed in the ocean not so very far away. A General at the radar screen rubbed his hands in glee, and grinning, pressed the button that starter World War Three.
From every corner of the sky bombs began to fly. There were even traffic jams- no traffic lights in the sky.
I'm really just putting these down to remind myself, one day when I've figured this blog thing out properly I'll write them properly!
Incidentally I'm still very depressed, which is annoying me now. Oh and I'm 33 tomorrow, which is just as depressing!!
Wednesday, 2 March 2011
Saturday, 12 February 2011
Mouse hunt
We have a mouse! At least I hope it's a mouse... The little blighter's been running round in the walls for at least a week, in the kitchen cupboards and everything. It doesn't appear to have gone upstairs (touch wood) and seems to be trapped in the downstairs toilet and the walls now. I got a rat trap and a couple of mousetraps the other day off Ebay, but nothing so far. It's really bumming me out, like I needed another thing to go wrong, but hey! thats life. Kinda making me wish we had a cat now. Maybe I could borrow one?!?!
So far, it's cost me a fortune - well maybe not a fortune, but I had to replace all the cereal and I had some vaccuum bags (the ones for sealing food in) in the cupboard too, and they were pricey. On the off chance i put it's little feet on em, I don't feel good about using them now. Plus the cost of the traps, then Ill have to fill the holes up with expanding foam - gah!
The scrabbling is the worst, it's trying to dig itself a little hole into the lounge from the walls. Oh and it's ripped up some carpet and some lino in the toilet trying to get out! It's LOUD though, this scrabbling. That's what's making me worry that it's a rat, that and the rat I saw scamper past my front door a few months back. A mouse I can just about deal with,but a rat? ugh no. Yukky!
I like mice though, I had a pair of white mice when I was 18. I bought them after I got my sister one for her birthday, and it was jsut so cute! Mind you my friends would freak if I got them out the cage when they were round. The sadist in me thought that was amusing!! I'm not gonna keep the one I catch. I'm gonna take it as far away as I can and let it go. And then pray it doesn't find it's way back! I'll ask my mate if her husband can come round and check for holes in the outside wall too to be on the safe side.
Maybe when the mouse is gone, the ceiling is fixed after the leaky hot water tank thing over Christmas, and I've cleaned everywhere up, life will calm down for a little bit?
No flipping chance!! lol
So far, it's cost me a fortune - well maybe not a fortune, but I had to replace all the cereal and I had some vaccuum bags (the ones for sealing food in) in the cupboard too, and they were pricey. On the off chance i put it's little feet on em, I don't feel good about using them now. Plus the cost of the traps, then Ill have to fill the holes up with expanding foam - gah!
The scrabbling is the worst, it's trying to dig itself a little hole into the lounge from the walls. Oh and it's ripped up some carpet and some lino in the toilet trying to get out! It's LOUD though, this scrabbling. That's what's making me worry that it's a rat, that and the rat I saw scamper past my front door a few months back. A mouse I can just about deal with,but a rat? ugh no. Yukky!
I like mice though, I had a pair of white mice when I was 18. I bought them after I got my sister one for her birthday, and it was jsut so cute! Mind you my friends would freak if I got them out the cage when they were round. The sadist in me thought that was amusing!! I'm not gonna keep the one I catch. I'm gonna take it as far away as I can and let it go. And then pray it doesn't find it's way back! I'll ask my mate if her husband can come round and check for holes in the outside wall too to be on the safe side.
Maybe when the mouse is gone, the ceiling is fixed after the leaky hot water tank thing over Christmas, and I've cleaned everywhere up, life will calm down for a little bit?
No flipping chance!! lol
Friday, 11 February 2011
love
Why is it I only think of something to say late at night? Brain going into overdrive the minute the tv;s turned off, nothing else to concentrate on except my thoughts.
I'm in love with a man. He's not in love with me though. He was, or at least I thought he was - now I'm not so sure he knows what love means. It's been over for five months, and it was only a 6 months relationship, plus tht awkward month at the end. But I mean what I say, or at least I try to, and I really meant it when I said I loved him. I find it so hard to get over something like that, I wish I didn't. I wish I was the kind of person that can just walk away and be over it (like he was) but it's just not me. I say 'I wish' a lot though. I'd describe my self as an optimistic realist- I always hope that things will turn out wonderful but am painfully aware that they rarely do seem to.
I'm still imagining every night, what I would do if he knocked on my door. Would I say I love him and take him back, no matter how difficult our relationship was before, how painful and sad it was all the time?. Or would I take the high road? Tell him he treated me bad, that I deserve better and that I'm not going to give him the chance to put me through this punishing hurt all over again. Because it was a bad relationship if I'm honest. But I also think we would have gotten through it eventually and it could have been wonderful. We both have our problems but together could we deal with it? Or would it just have been painful and sad forever? I don't know. I guess that's the point. I don't know and let's face it, there's very little real chance of me ever finding out if we could have made it work. But that just makes me sad again and wish we could.
Maybe I'm just being pathetic, tell me to buck up and get over it, he probably wasn't worth it if he couldn't be bothered to try. Maybe I'm just writing this to be cathartic, get it out my system, maybe if I say it enough I'll get over it. Probably no-one will ever read this, but is that really the point? I'm doing this for me, not for you. But maybe now it's done I can get on with writing something more interesting. If I have it in me!
I do feel a bit better now, bed time - see if lying in bed alone is any better tonight now.
I'm sad, and lonely... Like a billion other people on this little green planet. So's he. Doesn't that mean we lonely people should maybe stick together? Gah, I want to be over this but Valentines is coming up and like Christmas, it's gonna be hell. My birthday soon too. Maybe when they're over I'll start to feel better get used to being alone again. But it's my party and I'll cry if I want to!
Night x
I'm in love with a man. He's not in love with me though. He was, or at least I thought he was - now I'm not so sure he knows what love means. It's been over for five months, and it was only a 6 months relationship, plus tht awkward month at the end. But I mean what I say, or at least I try to, and I really meant it when I said I loved him. I find it so hard to get over something like that, I wish I didn't. I wish I was the kind of person that can just walk away and be over it (like he was) but it's just not me. I say 'I wish' a lot though. I'd describe my self as an optimistic realist- I always hope that things will turn out wonderful but am painfully aware that they rarely do seem to.
I'm still imagining every night, what I would do if he knocked on my door. Would I say I love him and take him back, no matter how difficult our relationship was before, how painful and sad it was all the time?. Or would I take the high road? Tell him he treated me bad, that I deserve better and that I'm not going to give him the chance to put me through this punishing hurt all over again. Because it was a bad relationship if I'm honest. But I also think we would have gotten through it eventually and it could have been wonderful. We both have our problems but together could we deal with it? Or would it just have been painful and sad forever? I don't know. I guess that's the point. I don't know and let's face it, there's very little real chance of me ever finding out if we could have made it work. But that just makes me sad again and wish we could.
Maybe I'm just being pathetic, tell me to buck up and get over it, he probably wasn't worth it if he couldn't be bothered to try. Maybe I'm just writing this to be cathartic, get it out my system, maybe if I say it enough I'll get over it. Probably no-one will ever read this, but is that really the point? I'm doing this for me, not for you. But maybe now it's done I can get on with writing something more interesting. If I have it in me!
I do feel a bit better now, bed time - see if lying in bed alone is any better tonight now.
I'm sad, and lonely... Like a billion other people on this little green planet. So's he. Doesn't that mean we lonely people should maybe stick together? Gah, I want to be over this but Valentines is coming up and like Christmas, it's gonna be hell. My birthday soon too. Maybe when they're over I'll start to feel better get used to being alone again. But it's my party and I'll cry if I want to!
Night x
Friday, 4 February 2011
Number One.....
Well I guess I should start this,- had this account for a while but haven't managed to put pen to paper yet, so to speak. So it's a record of my rambling musings and random ideas, I accept no responsibilty if it makes no sense at all.
Last night I was thinking that enzymes in saliva and stomachs break down food. Are the enzymes still present in urine? And if they are, then couldn't we get homeless people to pee on food waste sites and break it down quicker?? It did actually make a lot more sense in my head at 1am when I was half asleep....
Well it's a start anyway, albeit a wierd one. And hopefully I'll work out how to change the name of my blog to include an important apostraphy soon. Ta ta!
Last night I was thinking that enzymes in saliva and stomachs break down food. Are the enzymes still present in urine? And if they are, then couldn't we get homeless people to pee on food waste sites and break it down quicker?? It did actually make a lot more sense in my head at 1am when I was half asleep....
Well it's a start anyway, albeit a wierd one. And hopefully I'll work out how to change the name of my blog to include an important apostraphy soon. Ta ta!
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